I love people more than money (probably)

"But," you say to yourself, "I came to law school because I care about justice! How do I get a job in public interest?"

Fist of all, no you didn't. You came to law school because you didn't know what else to do with yourself, and the economy was swirling down the toilet. Don't lie.

Second: Hahahahahahahaha

You poor thing. Don't you know that your law school wants you to work for a big firm? Make lots of money and then give it back to the school! That's how it works. Go forth and interview!

Let's pause for a moment and be fair: that IS how it works. Law schools need rich alums to write nice fat checks. As a business deal, it makes sense and works pretty well. Unless you happen to be one of those crazy people who doesn't want a job based on the paycheck (what is wrong with you??).

If you want to work in public interest, you were, for a long time, pretty much on your own (this is changing slightly). Or you could work for the government. Or a firm - don't forget firms! Firms are nice! I got my internships by offering myself, for free, to worthy causes both summers. I had to do this BEFORE figuring out funding. Last summer I got a part-time job. This summer...who knows? Because the information about HOW TO PAY FOR YOUR LIFE IF YOU WORK IN PUBLIC INTEREST ISN'T UP YET. (and breathe)

I really do want to get a job I can care about. The problem is finding a cause/organization with enough money to pay me... Because while I do like people and civil rights and puppies and sunshine, I also like to eat.

My cost-benefit analysis says: DO NOT WANT.

So let's talk about this journal thing. That is, the whole idea of "you need to be on Law Review (or some secondary, way-less-prestigious journal that also publishes articles and notes about law and requires the same amount of slavery work for such little reward) in order to succeed at life, I mean, law school!"

If it weren't already obvious, I think the entire thing is a load of crap. Like most of the advice we get about sending 500 letters out on December 1 and perfecting your ability to eat and chat charmingly when you're at your callback lunch, it's all geared towards the stereotypical "how to work in a huge law firm with a six-figure starting salary" path that, hey, a very small percentage of law students actually take. Especially in this craptacular excuse for a job market where you'd probably be lucky to even get hired in retail.

Write-on was hell, especially after finishing your 1L year in a triumphant blaze of I-no-longer-care-how-well-I-did-because-it's-over. But once you're on journal, it's all fun and games! Oh wait, no it's not. Instead it's hours upon hours of work - more than you'll probably ever do for most of your substantive classes where you're actually learning (ostensibly) the law - that will give you fame and fortune and also two whole credits once the year is over! You'll have an excellent gazillion-page Note about a topic you clearly adore and have researched to your maximum capacity, forfeiting sleep and hygiene and social interactions, and you are guaranteed to get published, get the attention of the leading experts in the field you've written about, and you're totally going to get offered that amazing job you've always wanted doing the work you've always wanted for 600 hours a week for the rest of your life!

Except most of that (save the forfeit of sleep, hygiene, and social interaction) is absolutely not true. Most Notes are utter crap because everyone procrastinates and most are aiming only to meet minimum good faith requirements, because as law students we don't have the luxury of enough time to research and polish our writing to the teeth - we're too busy drowning in all our other ongoing obligations: class, class, not reading for class, drinking every night, marathoning our favorite TV, and not calling our parents because we're just "so busy, Mom!"

And with the deadline to pick our topics so early? Everyone chooses arbitrarily something that sounds interesting or at least something they think they can write about - only to be proven wrong later, when it's too late to change your topic to something else.

My rant is losing steam because I'm losing interest, but suffice to say that journals, especially if you're not on Law Review (and also if you don't get published in Law Review), according to the most basic cost-benefit analysis are really Not Worth It.

Not that I may at all be biased or bitter due to the shelf-check I am currently not doing.

Even when it's interesting...

It's still reading. Lots of reading. Which would be fine if the books weren't SO HEAVY. Expensive is one thing. I'm so far in debt, what's a few hundred dollars more? But sweet Lords of Kobol, do the books have to weigh 85 lbs?

And then they try to make it easier by giving us handouts. Paper handouts. Which would be fine, but could you POST A COPY ONLINE???? Or ask someone else to post a copy online? you don't have do anything. You don't have to sit in front of the scary computer. But seriously. I have to keep track of a paper copy? What if I lose it? What if I leave it in my car and I go to school in the middle of a frozen wasteland and I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK OUT TO MY CAR???!!!! pdf - that's all I'm saying.

Sometimes I think about all my opportunity costs...

100 Things I Should Have Done Instead of Going to Law School

1. Gone skydiving.
a. Without a parachute.
b. It’s, I think, a fairly accurate analogy of going to law school.

10. Became Youtube famous.
11. Visited all the art museums in Europe.

27. Won the lottery.

37. Read Ulysses.
a. Did you know? It’s the most widely unread great classic.

46. Gotten a real job.

50. Found Waldo.

60. Taken over California.
61. Gone to culinary school.